Friday, November 13, 2009

Colbert Report Questions Values on Sesame Street

On Wednesday, November 11, 2009, Comedy Central's satirical late show, "The Colbert Report," openly questioned the values conveyed through Sesame Street. It was so funny that I had to take the time to post my favorite moments. Please enjoy!


"Tonight - Sesame Street celebrates its 40th birthday. Soon it will be 'C is for Colonoscopy.' "

(By the way, on the November 9th show, Stephen Colbert started with "Happy 40th Birthday Sesame Street. That bird's not gettin' any bigger. I say we eat him now.")

"Nation, yesterday marked the anniversary of the most insidious, socialist, brainwashing program in our nation's history. Of course, I am talking about Sesame Street."

"For forty years, our socialist muppet masters have been turning children to alphabet-reciting, Snuffleupagus-hallucinating, Elmo ticklers. Well I've had my eye on the Children's Television Work Collective, ever since the show premiered in 1969. I was five, and I could not believe my eyes, folks. Big government, funding little children being indoctrinated into singing the praises of numbers."

(Video: A fast-paced hypnotic song ensues about the numbers 1, 2, and then repeatedly 3. "One, Two, Three! Three! Three! Three! Let's sing of the number three! How many is Three...")

"Let's see, Hitler, Mao, and Stalin. Is that three enough for you? And the propaganda does not stop with numbers! Oh! You've got to do the alphabet the way the man says!"

(Video: A charming moment when Kermit sings the alphabet with a little girl who insists that "q.. r... Cookie Monster" is in the alphabet. Kermit disagrees.)

"Yes, Cookie Monster! So what if that's not a letter. Jam him in there. Because not only is Cookie Monster a friend of the show, he is the only one teaching kids to consume like an American."

(Video: Cookie Monster appearing with Stephen Colbert earlier this year; Cookie Monster frantically piling food into his mouth.)

"Thank you. And just look how these furry fascists attack the institution of marriage."

(Video: Grover asks the boy, "Do you know what marriage is?" The boy answers, "A marriage.. a madgredge... is... is when somebody... when two people get married." The boy nods happily as Grover replies, "Yeah. Yeah. That's good, that's marriage.")

"That is not marriage! Two people??? Excuse me, Grover, a marriage is between a man and a woman. Not a man and a man, or a man and a monster, or a monster and the other head on the same monster... I think these guys are sharing more than the same torso..."

(Image reveals the two-headed monster.)

"Plus, Sesame Street gives aid and comfort to illegal aliens. This is America! Try English guys. Me no speaka the yop yop!"

(Video: The yip yips, discovering a book.)

"So it is no surprise who the guest for their 40th anniversary was."

(Video: Michelle Obama planting a garden with children. Elmo introduces her, and she asks, "Who has seeds?")

"Ooh! Ooh! Oh, I know a seed you'd like to plant! An acorn."

(Image: ACORN logo)

"And why, why folks, why are these kids only growing vegetables? Where are the meat seeds? But luckily there is a glimmer of hope that Sesame Street is changing. On last week's show, this was an actual conversation between Oscar the Grouch and his girlfriend..."

(Video: Oscar apologetically says, "Yea yea, I know what you're gonna say." Grundgetta blurts out, "Hugging and kissing?!? That is it! I am changing the channel. From now on, I am watching POX News! Now THERE'S a trashy news show! Ha!")

"Sesame Street now has POX News. Well this little crack has upset many conservatives. One right-wing blogger wrote - 'I can't even sit my kids in front of 'Sesame Street' without having to worry about the Left attempting to undermine my authority.' - And nothing says parental authority like propping your kids in front of the tv so you can blog about how tv is undermining your authority."

(Image: 'Conservatives Grouch-y' article)

"Now personally folks, I wish my cable company carried POX News. They provide insightful coverage at my reading level. And the citizens of Sesame Street are desparate for fair and balanced coverage. Just look at how the muppet media covered tea party protests..."

(Video: Kermit scorning an inaccurate re-enactment of the Boston Tea Party.)

"Mister Frog! You can not silence the people with your web-footed storm troopers! And I am not saying that Kermit is Hitler, but doesn't this look a little too natural?"

(Image: Kermit with a small imperialist mustache)

"I would much rather my children watch opinion chicken Glen Beak squawk about how President Barrack Opossum wants to euthanize Big Bird and legalize Bert-Ernie marriage. So kids, turn off Sesame Street and turn on POX News. You'll love their great commentators, like Shawn Hammadee, Bull O'Reily, and Mitt Romney. We'll be right back."

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